we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
