Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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