But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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