hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
