I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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