you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
