I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize