I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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