As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
