just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
