I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
