Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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