Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
