i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dignity is for republicans.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
