hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
