Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're making bets on your personal life
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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