Will you blow on my dice?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize