the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
