it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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