How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
