the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
