so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
