shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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