Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
