I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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