Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
