did you get engaged???
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
