You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize