end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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