At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
