i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
