There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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