i think my tv is drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
