O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
