I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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