That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
