A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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