In the future we'll all be gay
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
