I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
