dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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