Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
