i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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