She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
