i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
