I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
