She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
