I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Plan B is the new Plan A
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
