you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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