'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
