Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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