Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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