girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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