Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
