He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
