At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
