ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
