So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
