whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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