It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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