dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
do nipples grow back?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
