her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
