Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
