In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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