ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
